This is my only picture of my late father and I. My father died when I was only 10 years old from Pneumonia. This month on the 11 will mark 21 years since my father deceased (I know that you are already calculating my age by now). Those who knew him well brought to view that he was never ill. In my eyes he was the cause of his own death, by his unhealthy lifestyle of consuming large quantities of icy alcohol. I guess this is partly where my hatred for alcohol emanates from. I hate alcohol with passion , with all the fibres of my body and spirit. In spite of all this I still have vivid good memories of time we spent together and I miss him at times.
I really wonder how my life would have been if he was still alive, I somehow don’t think we would have gotten along very well.
I have to say even though I loved my father, I was very much closer to my grandfather whom I called my father. When my father died I was hurt, but when my grandfather passed away 5 years later I was deeply wounded. The wound was so deep that it took another 5 years for me to heal.
Ekasi, where I am staying I mostly come across people who have anger towards their fathers, people who were abused by their father, some neglected by their fathers, while some have never even seen their fathers. I am constantly reminded of men being dogs and good for nothing.
On the other hand I was fortunate to have good relationships with my fathers as I call them. You see after the death of my grandfather, I was blessed with the presence of many fathers in my life including my uncles (boRakgolo, Rangwane, le bomalume) who played the father figure in my life, it was not only them but at times I would adopt fathers in church and this made me not to really feel fatherless. Most importantly I had my Father, the Creator and God who nurtured me and is still finishing the good work he started on me.
I strongly believe at times we don’t see God’s blessings because we are blinded by our own tears. Bro Tshepo Majake once said God allows people to come into our lives at the right time so that they may play a role in our character development and when their role is done God allows them to slowly move from us.
Our country is sick, our people are suffering, everyday we hear of young men slaughtering people as if they were animals. The crime in South Africa is very brutal. What went wrong? Just last week on Thursday, 29 March 2012 we learnt of shocking news of a young man of 25 years of age from Khayelitsha who butchered his entire family with a spade. What really hurt me when I read the story was how this man’s son pleaded with his father not to kill his mother saying ‘Tata, Tata sukumbulala uMama”
What we see here is the very opposite of the role of a father, a father is by nature a priest of his house, a provider, a protector, and principled guider of his house. It is said that God created man in his own image and man returned the favour. Our natural impulse is to view God through the lens of our relationship with our earthly fathers.
Why is it that 75% of drug users come from fatherless homes, why are nearly 65 of suicides come from fatherless. Why 70% of prisoners come from fatherless homes? What is it about fatherless that cause young people to hate and destroy themselves?
Our generation is crying out for fathers....
We as men and fathers have sat down and watch while our country is destroyed, we have watched our country being raped by the actions of those men who failed to be fathers. we have sat down and choose to do nothing. We are also equally guilty like those who committed these acts of violence.
In his book Education Ellen G White writes “The greatest want of the world is the want of men-- men who will not be bought or sold, men who in their inmost souls are true and honest, men who do not fear to call sin by its right name, men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole, men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall” it is true our communities are really in need of men who will stand for God in doing what is right.
We can’t allow this curse to continue and destroy the next generation of a black child Madoda..Lets stand together and fight this scourge ... Kopano ke Matla....
